Stoke the Fire “Let praise be a weapon that silences the enemy, let praise be the weapon that conquers all anxiety – Let it Rise, Let Praise Arise.” I have a beautiful voice I want you all to hear. He is my cousin. He sang the songs we carefully chose for my brother. He did…
Let’s talk reality after YOU are gone. I am still angry. Not at you, or your precious heart. I am angry at this aftermath that we call life and we’re not ready to try to navigate. I am angry that the sun still rises and I still have titles. I am angry that I have…
The final day of a rollercoaster of emotions, and still yet such a fresh beginning to what they tell us about the stages of grief. I can tell you grief doesn’t happen in “stages”. I do appreciate and acknowledge what the widely known stages have taught us, but I can say they are rather circular…
After what we thought was the hardest stuff, we were only approaching the hardest yet surprisingly the most healing of them all. We all woke up that morning, the day prior to his funeral, and worked to become the most presentable we had been for days. Our unthought of apparel and simple routine of hygiene…
The weekend before my brother took his life, I felt a heaviness. The anxiety and worry were so strongly present on that Saturday and Sunday that the colors surrounding me even looked dull. I was in bed most of those two days and I couldn’t explain to my husband or children what was wrong. I…
Here we were, planning. Planning for something we didn’t think we could. Planning for something we didn’t anticipate or write into our little square planner boxes or google calendar. We had met with the pastor, we had received our duties and without us it wouldn’t happen so what choice did we have? This was happening…
How do we do it? I often told myself I just simply wouldn’t survive losing a mother, a father, or a sibling way too soon. “I would just die” were often the words that came out of my mouth when I would tell my brother or my sisters to be careful, or tell my parents…
Witten by your big Sister Natasha, on March 25, 2023, 3 days after you left us. The past few nights I lay in bed looking up, holding my hands up to feel you. You know I always told you that you were my light in this world. I’m sure you might have even kept all those…
“I have a doctor appointment at 11 for medication and setting up counseling for me in Willmar. This is all mostly because I don’t know how to be around people. I’m such a loner and struggle in groups of people and just completely shut down.” “I took the week off just to think and try…
Ever since I was able to form my own sentences, stories, poems, and letters my Grandpa Bill became my biggest supporter, motivator, and fan. He would always love reading pieces I wrote. He would smile that straight-line smile, his small eyes would twinkle, and he would make a little sound “hmm” after reading them. His…